Sunday, January 31, 2010
On perfection
I can't remember the last time before today where I woke up reaching for a dream. Not just a great dream, but one of actual perfection. The notion of waking up not just content, but fulfilled as well is somewhat of a foreign concept to me, as my subconscious loves to veer towards the malicious. Is it perhaps malicious in a new way, as it leaves me with this odd longing to return? Maybe mocking me, as if life could ever be that perfect, with all the pieces falling into place? It's hard to tell. Maybe it's best just to savor something so ideal, regardless of its intent.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
I'm surprised, but then I'm not...
Well then, this year has gone with an awesome start, and I mean that in the most sarcastic manner that can be conveyed through the internet.
Though the prospect of not getting into medical school doesn't nip at my sanity as it may with other pre-meds, thought I admit that I am not completely immune to its effects. Such an outcome would mean that I will have to take further initiative to secure some form of vocational training in a harrowing attempt to escape the nightmare Asian fate of horrible middle class mediocrity, or god forbid, poverty.
While a pressing issue, I feel like its significance has been overshadowed by the overarching theme of senior yeah: ambivalence. I wish I knew the source of the problem, but it just appears to be some sort of clout of ennui.
The theme of college was supposed to be hedged on an old quote I found in an old yearbook: "I'd rather regret the things I did than the things I didn't do." I would say that for the most part, I have been able to follow this adage, though one could argue there are clear areas that require work. While my stance on "was it worth it" is unwavering, it begins to tremble on the notion of "was she worth it". It always seems to me that the alternative results would have been inferior to the actual results. Is it true, or is it my skewed interpretation?
I try not to lose sleep over it. But some things shouldn't be left to fester.
Though the prospect of not getting into medical school doesn't nip at my sanity as it may with other pre-meds, thought I admit that I am not completely immune to its effects. Such an outcome would mean that I will have to take further initiative to secure some form of vocational training in a harrowing attempt to escape the nightmare Asian fate of horrible middle class mediocrity, or god forbid, poverty.
While a pressing issue, I feel like its significance has been overshadowed by the overarching theme of senior yeah: ambivalence. I wish I knew the source of the problem, but it just appears to be some sort of clout of ennui.
The theme of college was supposed to be hedged on an old quote I found in an old yearbook: "I'd rather regret the things I did than the things I didn't do." I would say that for the most part, I have been able to follow this adage, though one could argue there are clear areas that require work. While my stance on "was it worth it" is unwavering, it begins to tremble on the notion of "was she worth it". It always seems to me that the alternative results would have been inferior to the actual results. Is it true, or is it my skewed interpretation?
I try not to lose sleep over it. But some things shouldn't be left to fester.
Monday, January 18, 2010
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